When a freshman in college, I read
and fell in love with Dostoevsky’s Crime
and Punishment. Perhaps the most gripping interaction in the book takes
place between Raskolnikov, who has just committed a brutal murder, and Sonia, a
desperate prostitute. Sonia, looking into the wretched, despairing eyes of
Raskolnikov, reads St. John’s account of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead
and at the same time opening the blind eyes of the disbelieving Jews. The story
brings magnificent hope to Sonia as she considers this man before her whom she
has begun to love: “And he, he—too, is blinded and
unbelieving, he, too, will hear, he, too, will believe, yes, yes! At once,
now," was what she was dreaming, and she was quivering with happy
anticipation.”
My recent thought processes and
experiences have led me to remember my love for Dostoevsky, especially the
beauty with which he composed this scene (indeed, I intend to begin the novel
again immediately upon finishing this blog post). I’m coming to understand more deeply the needs and hurts of
my students, friends, and neighbors around the world. Finding myself without the capacity to heal, nurture, and
satisfy them, yet having the desire to see them enjoy life abundant, I, like
Sonia, find great hope in the John 11 passage. Sure, I have serious flaws and limitations, but Jesus…
JESUS!!! Perhaps, contrary to my too-frequent
opinion, my job is not be the Jesus in the story, but to be the Martha who
called upon Jesus and—though the Savior did not arrive until after her brother’s
death—trusted completely in the power that Jesus had to bring life from death.
I think it no coincidence that, at
the same time that I had been dwelling upon the story of Christ’s resurrecting
power, my Bible Curriculum told me to teach on John 11. Perhaps He’s trying to
teach me something here… What a joy it has been this past week to begin reading
the story of Lazarus and the unbelieving onlookers with my students, many of
whom desperately need to hear the voice of Jesus clearly saying, “Come forth!” and
need to be freed from the stinking grave clothes which bind them. It is with
great hope that I read this story to those before me whom I have begun to love:
“And these, these—too, are blinded and
unbelieving, these, too, will hear, these, too, will believe, yes, yes! At
once, now!”
Jesus said
unto her, I am the resurrection and the life: he that believeth in Me though he
were dead, yet shall he live. – John 11: 25
