Early Autumn Reflections

Can it be the end of September already? This month has seemingly passed so much more quickly than September, 2011. This time last year, I was wondering, “Why would I ever care to stay in this place longer than a year?” This year, amazingly, the question is more, “Why would I ever care to leave this place?” Now, please don’t think I have any clear direction for my future, I’m just unbelievably content here now. 

The last couple of weeks have been full, not only of school-related work and activities, but also of lessons and spiritual growth.  My schedule is QUITE jam-packed (especially compared to last year), but all is going well. I’m so thankful that God doesn’t see my schedule as too busy to work with. Each day calls for a deep rejuvenating night’s sleep (which I, so far, have been privileged to obtain), and each new day gives rise to opportunities to experience and share the nurturing love of Christ. I am blessed to start out almost every day leading different classes in worshipping God. It’s a sweet few minutes which gives my day beautiful focus. “Why are we doing this ‘singing’ thing?” I ask the kids every morning. They respond with a growing understanding of the reason for which they were created and the importance of lifting our eyes to recognize the power and love of our Lord.

Last Thursday, which I’ve already narrated for several of you, was a particularly full day in the Kingdom. In 4^th grade English that day, we were supposed to be learning about subjects in imperative sentences, but I ended up learning something a bit more important. Tosin had spent the week slowly moving down the behavior chart until his name sat precariously close to the final scary stage which said “Meet with Parents for intervention.” When Tosin saw that his neighbor, Tolu, was using “his” pencil, he decided it would be a good idea to yell and try to grab it from her. I, in turn, thought it would be a good idea for him to move his name down to the final level of the behavior chart. Upon seeing the impending consequences, Tosin began wailing and crying like it was the end of the world. After he quieted a bit, I went over and asked what the problem was and why he had insisted on yelling and getting so upset at Tolu. After his explanation of the situation, I said, “Tosin, regardless of whether or not she actually stole the pencil, next time you have trouble, all you have to do is raise your hand for help. I am here to help you and I will make sure justice is done.” When the incident was over, I thought about the words that I had spoken to my student and recognized a bit of hypocrisy.  Were these not the same words that my Father speaks to me whenever I have trouble with people or things around me: “Calm down, Lee Anne. No need to get your panties in wad. Just raise your hand, ask for help, and I will make sure that everything works out. I am here for you.” Yet, I still sometimes take it upon myself to get real upset about things that I should trust to Him. What a wonderful and convicting realization.

That afternoon, I encountered some of the clearest spiritual warfare that I’ve ever experienced. The second grade kids have always been a struggle, but Thursday’s Bible class was intense. I began class by announcing that today we would be introduced to the Deliverer-- which we have long been hearing about and waiting for. The children responded by cheering (a right response, if you ask me), but the excitement didn’t last long.  It was very clear that Satan didn’t want the kids to the get the message of hope that I planned to relate to them that day. A deep chaos and darkness took over the class for the next 15 minutes that left me extremely saddened and feeling like a failure for not having been a better instrument. 

After my Bible classes, I took my dampened spirits home to pray. I asked God to somehow redeem my day. I had only one club left to teach, but I knew that God could bring something good that revealed His glory out of this afternoon. At 3:30, I went to conduct speech club.  I was followed into the classroom by two of my speech students.  Literally, the first thing out of one of my student’s mouths was, “Ms. Lee Anne, are you a strong Christian?” This led to a pretty sweet conversation about God’s forgiveness and willingness to call us His children regardless of our sin. It was beautiful and an amazing answer to my prayers of earlier that day.

It’s exciting to see God work in and through me. In fact, there’s nothing better in life, nothing more satisfying, nothing more beautiful. He’s a good God, folks, and I’m so privileged to get to share Him with these students that I’m growing to love.