Sunday, October 13, 2013

"Overwhelmed by Grace"



I never really enjoyed roller coasters. The queasy feeling one gets as the car slowly inches to the top of an incline from which it will suddenly drop—and along with it your stomach—never held much appeal for me. I don’t mind the twists and turns so much; it’s the ups and downs that get me. The last couple of weeks of my life have been a roller coaster about as enjoyable to me as the Tennessee Tornado.
            My workload on the teaching and learning side has continued to be strenuous. Thankfully, I’m greatly enjoying everything that I’m teaching as well as the subject matter of my online course, but both are laborious. The last few weeks have involved several staff miscarriages and the death of staff member’s loved ones despite arduous prayer. Such difficulties have a way of shaking one’s faith, but we hold to the hope that God will shortly rebuild it stronger than ever before. The most challenging aspect of the last couple of weeks has come from my endeavors to offer counsel to my students. Knowing that I lacked the training and knowledge to provide real therapy, I began the year intending to offer what I could for my students—a listening ear, intercession, any wisdom God chose to impart, and love. It’s all I got. (Yes, I’m been making use of other tools as well—literature, connections, etc.) After some discouraging and confusing experiences, I’m tempted to think what I have is not enough. Such is the feeling, but what is the truth? Though it often escapes me, I must believe 2 Corinthians 9:8And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” The New Living translation says “And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.” So I suppose it comes down to a contest between what I feel and what God says is true. I suppose it’s the same contest that mankind has been battling since the beginning of time.
            Sufficed to say, there have been some real downers lately (including also intense spiritual battles within members of our little American House). Desperation has been prevalent in our school, our house, and my heart. Granted, desperation is not bad, it’s just hard. But now this…
            I was chatting with a friend from back home last week and gained great encouragement. She, too, was presented with some life struggles—circumstances that should have overwhelmed her. But instead of being overwhelmed by circumstances, this was her response (she’ll just have to forgive me for publicizing our private conversation; it was just too good):

         “…However, I am still quite overwhelmed by the presence of grace in my life









.
                          
         There is still suffering
… 




I suffer and I see other people suffer.




 And its not that the suffering is "good.” 




But I can handle it better because I can see the grace.




 Suffering doesn't lead to grace, 




but grace is available even in the suffering




. It’s like the time when I first got glasses as a kid




 and I put them on and went outside and I finally realized what the world looked like. The world was still the same, but my perception was changed.











I am thankful for everything. Like, I see things that I normally wouldn't notice and I feel grateful for their existence.




 And I think that's the key there. I am so grateful that I don't have time to notice how miserable I am.”

I was struck. To be placed in overwhelming circumstances and yet be overwhelmed by grace. Yes. It must be possible for me, too.

         Indeed, such proved possible for me a couple of days ago as a storm blew into Ibadan. Nigerians often find Americans’ love for storms to be alarming. As the black billowing clouds drew close, I found it an acceptable time to go for a jog, despite our gateman’s ardent warning that “It’s going to fall!” (referring to the rain, of course). Upon my return, I sat down in the middle of the rain and asked God to open my eyes to His glory. And wouldn’t you know… I was quickly awestruck at the beauty of His creation. The fallen leaf slowly drifting down the newly formed stream, the sting of the cold drops falling on my bare arms, the dancing trees cast against a background of swirling clouds, accompanied by a rain-on-tin-roof orchestra. Opening my eyes and heart to such beauty left me… overwhelmed. Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me.” And as I sat in the midst of the falling grace, it was as if I heard His still small voice again—“I love you.”

So the question: Will I see the storms of life as cause for overwhelming anxiety, or will I see the effects of the rain as evidence of his overwhelming grace? May God grant the latter.

Before signing off, I’d like to raise one more prayer point. There seems to be a growing Muslim presence at our school, and with it a felt sense of oppression. Students and parents who, unlike last year, are coming to school covered in black,  students (even those in whom Christ’s work has lately been evident) boldly proclaiming their commitment to Islam, and new students entering the school seemingly secure in their religion, and yet oppressed. We are excited about the increased access to more hearts that Christ died to set free, but are also aware of the enemy’s presence. So, for those willing, I ask you to join us in this spiritual battle (distance is no object for God) by asking our Father for the hearts of these whom He already loves, though they know Him not. Please pray that God would use the Bible classes, daily devotions, and interpersonal interactions to penetrate through darkness and bring light and life to those in need. 

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